From the first moment of witnessing your positive pregnancy test, you are a mother. You are the house and home for an unimaginably small being who has yet to become more than a few simple cells, but whose potential is limitless and boundless. And then, when this little one arrives into the world your life is changed… FOREVER!
Life will never be the same as it was before. How could it be? A human being now exists who did not exist before. Your Child… Your Responsibility… Your Love… And from the beginning to the end, you will be the most Significant Person in his life. You will be The Destiny!
This is why as women, mother and counsellor I advocate for mother’s wellbeing and spiritual strength. And my message to you, Beautiful Mother is simple and complex in the same time – take care of yourself!
Take care of yourself. This is your responsibility if you have children! Doesn’t matter how old is your child – 5, 25 or 45, if you are a mother, your goal doesn’t change: you hold emotions, diminish fear, and give steadiness. No one else can do it. Without it it’s hard to go through life for any human being.
If the child gets no support from you, he builds it himself. And since proper training has not been delivered by anyone, his strategies are often not adaptive: body diseases, neuroses, troubles in life. The one who gets strong support from parents is called “born with the stars on her side”. And whining, sickness, and constant troubles are not a destiny, but a call for help, a search for an equilibrium point.
At any age, there are times when someone should give you support from the outside. Even if you have a thousand pillars inside of you, sometimes you need a thousand and one, a new one. Ideally, it is given by parents. When there are no parents or they can’t support you, because have no support themselves, then it comes from friends, spouses, therapists, who temporarily "stand up" for you.
If you are a mother, take care of yourself and take care of that free inner space where the child can come and bring his feelings, no matter how old is he. And you will not be afraid of them, do not devalue them in fear unable to withstand child’s pain, will not run away, hiding in business or illness and do not attack proactively, throwing on your child your own feelings.
Of you two, Mother is you, it is you who contain the feelings of the child, and not the opposite. If you are overwhelmed and need a shoulder – call your mother or a friend. Cry to your husband, sister, godmother, beloved uncle. Or go to a psychologist or to a gym. Go to the church!
They all are big, bigger than you or just like you, and they have a place for your feelings. The child is small, he does not have room for your feelings. But you have space for his. Do not confuse this, please.
And take care of yourself. It's your responsibility if you have children. Your well-being and strength will shape his life. You are the destiny!