Every time I start a new group of new-born mothers I ask them to define what motherhood is. What it means for them, for each of them personally, not for their mothers, grandmothers, teachers, favourite actresses or authors. And very seldom there will be a woman ready to answer. The majority of them will confess that they never ever thought about it. Too busy, too tired, too much focused on others, I understand.
It is not an easy question because motherhood is elusive to define.
To create a definition you must think of the most important key word, a noun that gathers the message and the meaning. It has a to be a noun that has an expression of the most important.
The mothers I worked with came up with lots of different options, all received and respected equally by me. Here are some examples of such definition: unconditional love, hard work, sacrifice, unpaid job, etc.
I am a mother too. And I do have my definition that I would like to share with you. Again, it is my personal deep work, a summary of my life and work experience and I do not impose it.
My key word for motherhood is MISSION. Motherhood is a mission. It is a mission to bring into the world a baby and to do your best to help this baby to become a complete HUMAN BEING. It is about the child and it is a hard work that requires knowledge, skills, unconditional love and enormous sacrifice. But this is about mother too, and requires of mother to be willing to change, to develop and to grow herself. Being in a mission requires to expand and to evolve in every possible sense – physically, mentally, socially and spiritually. Because the vital job in this mission is to be a role model, an example, an inspiration. Every aspect of mother’s life will affect every single aspect of child’s life. Mother is a destiny, and nothing less!
This mission is about becoming and influencing! Children do not belong to the mother, they are given to her for a certain amount of time and during this time the mother holds the power to form or to damage, to encourage or to put down, to create solid self-confidence or everlasting anxiety and fear, to teach the child to enjoy life or to complain all the time.
Every child comes to the world as a HOPE. A hope for a new, better form of life. It is not the child’s responsibility to heal trans-generational problems and traumas, neglect or abuse, addictions or sickness that happens in almost in every single family in the world. And it is not child’s job to heal it. Child comes to the world to make different decisions and to live a decent life. A life of dignity and prosperity. And this is absolutely possible!
With one condition. Only, if the mother knows well her mission and is willing to do the job. EVERY SINGLE MOTHER holds the power of CHANGE. Bringing change into the world is her mission.
By the way, it is 100% applicable for fatherhood.